Apologies for the month-long gap between entries, y’all. Not long after my last February entry, I went on a week-long vacation, and since then, I’ve allowed certain circumstances in my life to get the better of me. But we do our best to learn and move forward, and part of this process is Proving I Am NOT my circumstances. Let’s trust I’ve learned my lesson.
Speaking of lessons, DAMN! I sers’ly got skool’d yesterday. I mean… holy friggin’ God! I received a phone call that turned into a major test of mettle. It really was one of those moments when you must ask yourself “what do you really believe here?” The specific details of the matter are irrelevant, but in a nutshell: a colleague of mine and I were not seeing eye-to-eye on some recent communications between us. We were looking at the same situation and having two very different experiences. I don’t think that’s terribly uncommon — people interpret their reality within the context of their background, experience, or even what may have happened to them that morning at breakfast. Someone driving down the freeway watching a dramatic, awe-inducing brush fire from a distance is having a very different experience from the person who is watching that same fire destroy their home, and both of them are having a different experience from the exhausted firefighter who just spent 20 hours straight fighting that same blaze.
Anyhoo… my experience of this particular phone conversation was, to say the least, unpleasant. Content-wise, there were definitely parts of the exchange that made me think, “Hmmm, OK. I’ll take a look at that. Noted.” And afterward, I did take note, and wouldn’t you know, I learned some new stuff about myself. Sweet! But there are other, profound lessons that have since been revealed to me as I’ve processed it, and they are PRICELESS. I’m a little giddy with gratitude for them.
Despite a charged conversation, I never forgot who I was. My human ego didn’t really make an appearance (that I can recall), and I remained calm. I was at peace knowing there was nothing I needed to prove. I stood in my Truth, knowing the impassioned remarks directed my way had nothing to do with me. (This is a biggie, especially in the midst of personal criticism.) I was comfortable acknowledging and verbally honoring the validity of this person’s feelings while being in disagreement with their opinions. And I realized I will always, Always, ALWAYS, ALWAYS treat others with nothing but the utmost personal respect. I think I’ve been on-track with that last one a long time, but I’m willing to recognize a powerful reminder when I get it. I trust those close to me will lovingly hold me accountable to that should they discover me off principle there in some way. I will treat others how I want and deserve to be treated. There is simply no excuse to do otherwise.
Truthfully, it was only about 10 minutes after the call when it dawned on me how much gratitude I suddenly felt for this person’s appearance in my life — not just yesterday, but for all of our past discussions.
Despite these spectacular a-has, there were still plenty of questions about all of it that were doggin’ me, so I’m also incredibly grateful for the conversations with friends last night who provided much-needed perspective on many levels. One of them helped drive home how this phone call was a beautiful, Divine gift. He reminded me how important it is to acknowledge, understand and fully accept into my consciousness the lessons it taught, so that I will never have to go through that experience again, which sounds pretty good to me. I am also grateful to know that despite heated disagreement, I can authentically hold this person in light, peace and love, knowing they are in the exact right place on their own perfect journey.
Reading this back, it sounds a little “Yeah, I’m totally amazing.” That goes without saying, of course, right? But recognizing significant shifts in my consciousness is pretty major. These shifts are the point of all the work I’m doing, so I’m gonna go ahead and point them out when I notice them. Thanks for understanding! =D
