Next Monday, I start a new full-time job.  Woot!

My Mind has been all over the place with this job.  I’m really quite excited about the steady paycheck, and I’ll be working at the New Thought spiritual center where I’ve learned and grown so much over the past two years.  Still, it’s a major shift from Life as I’ve known it for the past 14 years – switching from working as a freelance/independent contractor to being a staff employee.  (I’m not counting my unfortunate 6-month stint at a Minneapolis network affiliate, although as I write this, I’m realizing I clearly have some residual heat around that experience that needs extraction.  Great.  More work to do.)

Anyhoozits, while there is an extensive list of PLUS items around the new position, I still found myself feeling… something… about it.  Trepidation isn’t the right word.  Resistance doesn’t seem accurate.   One friend asked if maybe I was having doubts.  I told him I didn’t believe that was the right word either.  A soon-to-be-minister friend of mine provided a quote from another minister, Reverend David Leonard that reads:  “We are not afraid of the unknown.  We are afraid of letting go of the known.” Aaaaah.  That shed some light on things for me.  I think what I’ve been feeling is a loss of sorts – grief over having to let go of the idea of how I thought my path would unfold.

There are a few interesting things about this for me.  First of all, my path and my goals are ever-evolving, even to this day.  Writing, performing, coaching, living in Los Angeles – it’s all in the mix for now, but I can’t say that was entirely the case even two months ago, especially with performing.  My ideas around my writing and producing career have undergone transformation in the past year or so.  Coaching has long-intrigued me, and it seems to keep coming back to me in different ways, so I’m clear that’s part of the equation as well.  But who knows what else may pop up?  I’m no longer interested in limiting my options about anything.  Maybe I’ll become a minister.  Maybe I’ll train dolphins.  Be a raw food chef.  Do porn in space.  I’m Unlimited, baby!

Next, this fabulous path I see myself diverging from by taking this job hasn’t exactly been rainbows and unicorns lately, so where’s the big loss?  In fact, parts of the path didn’t really exist, so what was I mourning the loss of?  An idea?  An ideology about how I would get from point A to point B in my entertainment industry career?  Oops.  That’s a no-no in MetaphysicsLand.  I mean… Science of Mind, The Secret, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer, Abraham-Hicks, Kabbalah… pick whichever one works for you and they’re all pretty clear that we don’t need to concern ourselves with the “how” because it’s way too limiting.  Mike Dooley calls them the “cursed hows.”  Science of Mind calls it outlining.  Telling God, Source, Light, Abraham, or whatever HOW I want this or that to happen?!  As if my own individualized Mind has more knowledge or resources than Infinite Intelligence.  Sure!  OK!  I’ll let y’all know how that works for me.

With all of my spiritual studies, I was surprised I still got caught thinking I knew a better way.  I’m still learning to get my ego out of the way.  It’s so much easier to get out of Spirit’s way and let it do it’s thang.  My Big Picture plan still exists, but the Universe has another route in Mind to get me there.  Perfect!!  I’m in.  Let’s do this!